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Update on my rotation…….

So my mister actually reappeared in October…..He called me. I didn’t recognize the number nor his voice so I had to hit him with the WHO IS THIS???? I promise I wasn’t being funny….So he apologized for disappearing on me and he stated that he wished he would have did things differently because we were better than that….So silly ol’ me just thought he was calling to apologize…Well the next day I had a long inboxed message on fb asking for another chance….Then I had a handwritten letter under my door and a poem…… Then he brought me a reallly nice card and some flowers….We hung out a couple of times..Did dinners…Movies….But fast forward to December…It just wasn’t the same. I was definitely open to the idea of us getting back together..But I just couldn’t do it….There were a couple of issues that I couldn’t get down with…I understand that he’s younger than me…But he’s gotten so off track and I’m attracted to ambition. And I just don’t feel like it’s there…It’s more of a “what can I do right now kind of thing”. I understand he’s still trying to find himself but I honestly have NO idea of how long it’s gonna take for him to get stable. Especially knowing that if something else tragic happens it’s a possibility that he will lose focus again. I just feel like he needs to work on him….as opposed to an us….So we decided to be friends….It was a mutual decision. Neither one of us wanted to force something that wasn’t there….I suggested that maybe we were only supposed to be together for that season and he agreed…. But I still have nothing bad to say about our relationship. He was a great boyfriend…. I definitely enjoyed that season.

Well y’all know that one from high school..Well I’ve been hanging out with him…His job has him in my area often. So we’ll meet up and grab a bite to eat whenever he’s here…..Surprisingly, I’ve enjoyed spending time with him…..It’s soooo different being able to each other company’s without our normal interruptions…Whenever we see each other in our hometown we can’t have a conversation without someone interrupting asking if we back together or if we’re getting back together….Example…We were at a football game and we were talking and another friend of ours walks up and he’s like so it’s nothing between y’all….And he proceeds to say the chemistry is there because even he can feel it…..We usually just laugh those situations off…..

I used to think it wasn’t anything there between us but now I’m not so sure….We’ve always kept in contact via text and we’ll usually bump into each other whenever we’re home but that’s the extent of what it is…Nothing….But when we aren’t texting as much I actually miss him… But these last couple of outings actually have me curious. We’ve made small talk about the possibility of us getting back together…He asked that I think about it….He stopped over my parent’s house during the holidays and when he texted me saying he was coming over I warned him like ummmm my WHOLE family is over here…. But he came and my momma had him playing our lil Christmas games too…HA!! So when I was walking him out he said that he’s never seen the other side of me…The more mature 80s..The grown woman 80s…At first I was confused. But after thinking about it I understood exactly what he meant. I do give him more of the playful side of me….I honestly think it’s because I’m guarded with him…..He’s in town today so we’re gonna hang out and I’m gonna make an effort to not resort to the ol’ quiet 80s. My communication skills were horrible when we were together and I do go back to the shy girl role with him..I’ve changed…I’mma definitely try and let him see the new 80s……

I’m not for sure if I had wrote about this or not…But back in February we were both home for the weekend and he dropped by… Now all of you know I battle with the fact that my dad is an alchoholic. I’m embarrassed by it. It’s definitely a struggle for me to deal with it….Well when he was over my dad came home intoxicated and would not stop talking. I instantly got an attitude and started getting into it with my daddy….So he was just like come on take a ride with me…In that car ride he just talked to me and put me back into my place. And he was just like regardless of his situation thats still your dad and you still have to respect him. I was able to open up to him about the situation. That was probably one of our best conversations EVER. It just felt good to talk to him knowing that he wasn’t gonna judge my feelings or my daddy especially knowing he could relate to the situation. Knowing that I could feel comfortable opening up to him was definitely an eye opener…It was a uhhhhhhh I didn’t know I could do this w/ him. But we shall see if anything will ever pop up between us….. And it doesn’t help that a lot of my family and friends are rooting for us to REUNITE. As soon as I told folks that me and my mister were gonna be friends they couldn’t help but to throw up that now the ex from high school now has a chance…..

Onnnnnnnn to that married one… I know y’all tired of hearing about him..Heck, I’m tired of writing about him…He came for Homecoming….First time I seen him since he was married….WOMP WOMP WOMP….He started texting….I got an apology for how things went down between us…..On one hand I’m glad I got an apology…On the other hand it was like dude don’t think you doing something now because you opening up about the situation…When you should have been saying something your butt wasn’t saying ish….. Anywho…He was just like I don’t know why I just can’t shake you…Blah, Blah, Blah…I honestly used to think that he was was happy…But now I kind of my doubts…I just feel like if you’re happy than you don’t have to constantly say it…And he always somewhere talking about he’s happily married… Definitely gets the side eye from me. Guess what….THAT’S NOT MY PROBLEM…..The messed up thing is that HE can’t take that fact that I aint STUDDIN’ his married behind… Boy BYE!!! LET ME BE! He’ll text me and I’ll be like NOPE I ain’t doing this with you today…

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