Home > Uncategorized > You ain’t no BISHOP…….

You ain’t no BISHOP…….

So my work husband’s sister died on 2/11/11. She was diagnosed with a rare form of cancer last January and unfortunately it was found after it had progressed. My work husband ended up receiving a promotion and now works from home. So I rarely see him but he would call and give the updates on his sister….He had called and told me how she didn’t have that much longer that live and he sent me a text once she finally passed.

Now y’all know us black folks have a great SUPPORT SYSTEM. So I already knew I was going to his sister’s funeral. So the funeral was last Thursday and I’m not really a viewing the body type person so I arranged to get there right when the funeral started and after the casket was closed. His sister was a retired police officer so she had quite a few dignitaries in the audience. The sanctuary (is it called a sanctuary in a funeral home) was packed by time I got there so I was seated in the overflow section. I was seated right outside the sanctuary and I was looking through this glass. To be honest my view was not the greatest but it worked out in the end.

So the services were going on and it was really a nice service. Until the bishop crazy man messed everything up with his eulogy. Now my first clue that this man was nuts was when he started off by saying I know that we’re on a schedule but I’m on God’s time and I’m going to do as I please…Now I understand anything church related can get off schedule however, there is an appropriate way to handle it. But his arrogance and manner in which he stated it was flat out disrespectful. My second clue that he was nuts was they way that he kept mentioning these visions that he was having. I was scratching my head because some of the visions weren’t even making sense. But he was making it seem like all his visions had come to pass as if he was some kind of prophet.

His eulogy was decent except for the visions and he would have been alright if he would have just ended it. But no that is not what this man did. My third clue that he was nuts was when he stated that he had already told the family that he wasn’t going to do anything to embarass them. I was thinking what have you done in your past to make the family think you would possibly embarrass them.

So I’m thinking he’s closing his eulogy and it’s almost over. I was WRONG. He asks for the funeral home director to come up and open back up the casket. I’m sitting there thinking is this normal????? That was my fourth clue that this man was NUTS!!!!! Mind you I really couldn’t see so I couldn’t exactly see what was going on. So then I hear the crazy man saying now in my final vision she was laying just like this. He then goes on to say I don’t know if anything was done to her back or not so I brought a blanket just in case.

At this point I got my stuff and headed to the lobby thinking what the heck is going on. I really wanted to leave but at the same time I wanted my coworker to know I was there and I wanted to give him a sympathy card I picked up for him. So I headed back to my seat. I’m hearing this man say as her bishop it is my job to give her over to the Lord. I’m thinking what the heck is he talking about. At this time I’m just getting mad because this man is talking crazy and I’m getting embarrassed for my coworker’s family. I’m thinking what is he bout to do…..So then he starts talking about Lazarus from the bible. So my nerves are really starting to get razzled now. I’m thinking is he acting as if he’s bout to resurrect this woman. He starts screaming my coworker’s sister’s name at the top of his lungs over and over again… This was getting to be entirely too much for me.

So by this time I’m seeing people rush out of the room because it’s starting to be too much for them as well. Then I hear a voice that is not the crazy man’s saying BACK UP. (I assumed it was the director of the funeral home’s voice) So then I hear the crazy man saying somebody come get this man he’s trying to hinder me from what God wants me to do. In my head I’m thinking is he actually trying to do something to her body. Again I’m not even trying to look…I’m steady looking down at the obituary and then I finally get up and go back to the lobby again. Luckily, I seen my coworker’s wife and I was able to hug her, offer my condolences, and tell her I was headed back to work.

So walking back to my car I’m still seeing all kind of people leaving and everyone haves that same crazy look that I have on my face. Wondering what the hell just happened????? My nerves were so bad and I was just full of nervous energy. I pretty much came back to work grabbed my stuff then left for the remainder of the day. I was a mess.

So later on that day I texted my coworker to check on him. My text said something basic like I know today was rough for you so I’m just checking on you. He texted me back and said that this was his crazy sister’s (one who is still living) and her husband’s crazy pastor/church that tried to raise his sister. So he confirmed what I thought had happened. I could tell that he wasn’t for what happened at all. I had told him that it had got to be much for me and that man was NUTS. He said yep and that the man didn’t let the family know what he was going to do and he said he just sat there not really believing what was actually going on…..

I will admit that my coworker is very mild mannered. He is very easygoing, compassionate, and nothing really upsets him. So I assumed his family is similar because I was thinking if that had been any other family that would NOT have went down. It would not have gotten that far. Heck, I’m over here thinking I know I wouldn’t just let somebody disturb the body of my deceased loved one. That ain’t gonna work!!!!!! So I’m curious as to how the funeral finally ended and how they got the crazy man to finally leave her alone. I wonder if he even got to finish. I honestly have no idea. But that will be a funeral that I will NEVER forget…..

As you can see I refuse to call that crazy man a bishop. It’s extremely sad that he has a following. That man was NOT right.

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Categories: Uncategorized
  1. V Renee
    February 23, 2011 at 12:23 pm

    HOLD UP WAIT ONE MINUTE!!!

    You mean to tell me that this fool REALLY tried to bring her back from the dead?!?!?!?!

    WHAT IN THE HE DOUBLE HOCKEY STICKS?!?!?!

    • ms80sbaby
      February 23, 2011 at 1:59 pm

      V…I really think he literally tried to raise her in the casket….As well as raise her from the DEAD….Why else would he be mentioning Lazarus????? Who Jesus raised from the dead….

      That’s why I grabbed my ISH and got my butt up out of there…. I was like AWWWW NAAHHHH

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