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Bittersweet

So this time is really bittersweet because I’m constantly thinking of my great grandmother who was suffering from cancer this time last year. She stays on my mind. And I just wish had the opportunity to love on her one more time. It was nothing for me to go and sit right up under on the couch. She meant a lot to me and I definitely cherished our relationship. I’m grateful for the memories. But unfortunately at times they are not enough. I wish I could just hear her voice. Or see that surprised look on her face whenever I walked in the door… I ABSOLUTELY LOVED MY GAN GAN.

Yesterday, I was out to eat with my mister and there was an older couple sitting next to us. I kept staring at the 2520 woman because she reminded me so much of Gan Gan. He eventually noticed I was staring and questioned me about it….When I told him the she reminded me of Gan Gan, his response was your great grandmother was WHITE. I fell out laughing like nooooo sillly but she was extremely light.

So then he inquired as to why I felt that this woman reminded me of her. I just said the way her hair is pulled back, the texture of her hair, her long face, her facial structure, the way her glasses are on her nose, the shape of her glasses, and even the way she’s eating. She was eating slow and my great grandma know she ate slow as ever……So I pulled up a pic from facebook of Gan Gan and he was able to see where I was coming from….

I really do miss that lady. While she was suffering I didn’t want to see her suffering any more so I was ready to let her go….I believe I only thought about her no longer suffering as opposed to actually accepting all of the elements of death….Once she passed I handled it really well but now I’m actually grieving.

I’m missing her and her sis my Ol’ Aunt Hattie…..I already know they still somewhere bickering and Aunt Hattie is up in heaven saying, “Ruthie, you gonna eat that”…lol

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Categories: Uncategorized
  1. V Renee
    February 3, 2011 at 9:58 pm

    I still miss my granny and she’s been gone for 13 years now. I see her in other people all the time.

    sending e-hugs!

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