Home > Uncategorized > Update on the potential

Update on the potential

So I literally bumped into V. Renee yesterday and we chatted it up for a bit. I then told her that I was meeting the potential for dinner. And I went on to tell her that as of now I’m on the fence about him and the possibility of an us.

So here are the reasons:

1. He don’t do the things he used to…….I don’t get those sweet texts anymore. I don’t get the phone calls to make sure I’ve made it home.  Now don’t get me wrong. I understand he’s a busy man but he made time for that ish in the beginning. Don’t do something just to make a good impression and that’s pretty much all it is. A good first impression. A lot of that stuff made me smile so I do miss it.

2. Our schedules continuously conflict…..So I told y’all he’s managing his friends not so new anymore bar. And he’s at the bar pretty much every evening. So his evenings are pretty much unavailable meaning we really don’t talk on the phone. Last week I think our longest conversation on the phone was for a total of 7 minutes.

And in regards to when I’m in the area it’s hard for us to meet up as well. For example, once I make it town on Friday evenings he’s already at the bar….. And I’m sorry but I’ve been to the bar maybe like 3 times and I’m already bar’d out so I am not volunteering to go to the bar anytime soon. Because when I do go to the bar I have to take somebody with me because he’s busy running around so it’s not like we actually sitting up there chatting. It’s more so we can get a conversation in here and there and that’s about it…..I’m sorry I got off track. But yeah so that rules out us really getting together on Friday evenings. On Saturday morning/afternoon he does his landscaping thing and that can pretty much turn into an all day thing. By the time he finishes with that it’s time for him to get dressed and go to bar or do something else.

So just to give you an example of how it works out here’s a snippet of our previous weekend. So we were gonna meetup sometime this weekend and at first we were aiming for Saturday. Saturday morning was my one of my bestie’s graduation and afterwards we went out to lunch so I didn’t make it back home until around 3:45. It was around 4 when I was able to get in touch with him but he had to do something for his church at 5. By time he was done with church I was gonna be meeting up for round 2 for my girl’s graduation. It was pretty much a wrap on Saturday so we shoot for Sunday and I’m like I have nothing to do. He has a flag football game, a wedding, a meeting at the bar, and so on. So you pretty much get my drift….But we were able to squeeze a dinner in on Sunday.

I’m not knocking the fact that he’s busy at all. However,  he may be too busy to entertain the possibility of a long distance relationship if his weekends are constantly booked up. Perhaps not even just a long distance relationship but a relationship period. Getting to know someone takes time and he just doesn’t have it to spare.

3. He does NOT like my hugs…. Okay so it’s no secret that I’m not affectionate. I don’t come from an affectionate family. It’s just not in my blood. Now I know I can be affectionate but it takes some time and it has to be drawn out of me. In this case ummmm we don’t see each other enough nor talk enough for me to already be super duper affectionate.  It just hasn’t reached that point. So in our case when we see each other we hug. I give church hugs. I know it and I’m not in denial about it. Heck, my momma give em, my daddy give em, and my sister give em. That’s just how we are. I church hug my grandma, my family, my friends, and everybody else.  So sorry about ur luck Mr. Potential but as of now that’s what you’re getting. So yesterday after our dinner he forces me to give him a real hug and it was the most awkwardest thing ever.

Disclaimer: In the very beginning I informed him of my lack of affection and I asked him to be patient with me. Now I know my lack of affection has been taken the wrong way previously that’s why I at least mention it in the beginning. And if he’s complaining about the hugs then I wonder what he think is gonna go down with the cookies. I haven’t had relations in almost 3 years and honestly it’s the furthest thing from my mind. So hmmmmmmm on this one……………

4. He can’t spell…….

So I know my reasons why I’m riding the fence may be small to the next person. Overall,  I just feel like we’re going backwards. I know that he’s extremely busy so that’s why I’ve stepped up more on reaching out to him. But at the same time I’m not bout to do it all especially when you found the time in the beginning. So I just don’t know….. In the beginning we had great conversations. We talked about a lot of substantial stuff and now our conversations are quick and about nothing. I haven’t completely ruled him out but it’s more of a we shall see. And if it’s to the point where he’s no longer interested in me I can accept that too. Although I don’t think that’s what it is  because he still seems interested when he has the time.

Sidenote: It’s funny because y’all know I’m in a wedding 4th of July weekend so my friends are asking me if I’m inviting him as my date. My response: PROBABLY NOT!!!!!! My main reason being we haven’t advanced enough for “us” to be around my people. When I say my people  I literally mean my people because my whole family is going to be at this wedding.  But my friends including the bride keep harrassing me about inviting him and then his best friend goes with one of my best friends so she in my ear about inviting him too….I still don’t know though.

Looking forward to all feedback. If I’m tripping….Let me know……

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Categories: Uncategorized
  1. V Renee
    June 14, 2010 at 3:29 pm

    80s I’m Sooooo happy I ran into you yesterday!! You looked cute, and I loved your hair!

    Now on to you and this “we’ll see”.  (By the way, you know mama’s use “we’ll see” when they really mean hell no! Lol) I don’t care what you say, I’M STILL ROOTING FOR YOU AND THE POTENTIAL!!!!!! I feel like the things you listed, can be worked through. Yeah your schedules conflict, but you still make time to see one another. Now I do agree with the whole, don’t start something and then stop it all of a sudden.  BUT I am mad that you’re giving him church hugs. I was dying laughing reading your number 3. If I was him I wouldn’t like those damn hugs either. LOL!! 

    Also, I think you should take him to the wedding too. ☺ 

  2. ms80sbaby
    June 15, 2010 at 9:46 am

    @V…Thank you….Girl, you know I can’t do no hair for real and since it was so hot I decided to try something where it would be off my face….

    I mean I’m used to people calling me out about my hugs because I’ve hugged like that forever…Now the old numbers did eventually get real hugs but it was not immediately…So we’ll see once I finally take it to the next level and give him a two arm hug…LOL

    As far as our schedule conflicting I know that it can be worked out but it’s still a matter of him being a busy busy man….It just kind of gets tiring knowing that we don’t talk that often because he’s tied up at the bar every evening…. Or the conversations we do have are short and sweet….

    I was talking to my sister about whether to invite him to the wedding last night….And she thinks I should too… I still don’t know though…He be asking about it too like when’s the wedding… My response 4th of July weekend… LOL

  3. L.P.
    June 24, 2010 at 3:58 pm

    Very late on this… My internet game has fallen for the . But here is what I think:
    1 – You BOTH don’t make the time! You are always super busy as well… Tending to your friends and family… This is not one sided at all.
    2- What might be happening is him thinking you are probably not that into him. The compounding of church hugs with y’all not seeing each other that often may send the signal that, you see him as an “option” not a “potential”… Maybe it’s a good time in the “relationship” to center the debate and see “where this has the potential to go?”… but the way I am feeling potential, I think he’s more of a let me fall back and see if this chick is into me… (because if I was his sister, I would have told him, you weren’t into him based on the interactions… :))
    3- Yes go to the wedding with him… but make sure you can have time to be one on one with him… Or it won’t be worth it. Both of you need to pick a day AHEAD OF TIME, when you both clear up your schedules and actually go on a real date in a real place (not a restaurant or the movies or anything like) where you can talk… and just shoot the breeze for a bit. This should tell both of you where your head is at… (Kentucky/Ohio should have some awesome parks/natural places where you can go spend a day and picnic or something right?) Try to do that.

    And more importantly, I miss you guys so much!!!! 😦

    • ms80sbaby
      June 24, 2010 at 9:58 pm

      We miss u tooooo LP!!!!!!!!

      1. I disagree with me not having time. And I say that because it is possible for me to completely clear my schedule but I can’t say the same about him. It is a definite that he is going to be in the bar every friday and saturday evening. Also it is a definite that he’s going to be cutting grass friday evenings and saturday mornings into the afternoon. And unfortunately its not a specific time frame. It depends on how much he was able to get done throughout the week. It’s pretty much he stops when he’s done which can sometime lead into the evening. Sundays are his lighter days but he has a flag football game along with a weekly meeting at the bar….

      In regards to my schedule it is pretty flexible when I’m at home…. I may have one or two things but nothing where my entire weekend is just filled. It would be nice if he could clear his schedule one evening but I’m not holding my breath on that ever happening……..I go out occassionally and he used to go out as well. We exchanged numbers while we were both out. I still go out every so often but he does not. The situation is he plans to go out once he leaves the bar and that never happens. Ummm yeah the other weekend was his homey’s bday. Did he go out with them? Nope. Cuz he was at the bar. So if he not clearing his schedule for one of his closest friends then I’m definitely not expecting him to clear his schedule for me.

      2. I don’t know why he would have the impression that I’m not feeling him. I feel like I’ve stepped up on the communicating where he has fallen short. I’mma need him to meet me in the middle. Because I have a problem with me putting forth all of the effort. And whenever we do see each other its usually him calling me a couple hours in advance if that and me making it work. We can’t make concrete plans in advance because his schedule is not consistent.

      I think I’m just wired a lil different because the affection is just an added bonus. I would never go as far as saying well this person is not feeling me because they are giving me a church hug especially when its known that this person gives folks that she loves dearly church hugs. But that’s just me *kanye shrug*. Because on my end I’m thinking well this person is not finding the time to talk/converse with me so he’s not feeling me.

      3. That was the whole reason that I was hesitant about inviting him to the wedding because I’m a bridesmaid. And my whole family will be there as well as a lot of friends and I don’t know if I care to have the responsibility of being a host and making sure he straight and all of that other stuff. So that’s why I was going back and forth with it.

      We’ve kind of had that date that you were referring to. Last month we met for ice cream at this lil place and we sat outside and chatted for over a hour or so…..just made small talk for real though? Nothing in depth.

      My main reason for wanting to fall back is because he’s not doing the things which made me like him in the first place… I understand he’s hella busy but at the same time he found time before and furthermore conversations when ur running from point a to point b get old. This week our longest conversation has been like five minutes. How can we continue to get to know each other if I’m only worth five minutes of ur time during the week?

      I just don’t feel like any significant progress has been made to even have that so where is this going talk…….

      Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

  4. L.P.
    June 25, 2010 at 3:24 pm

    Gotcha Girlie… I’ll say go with your instincts… if you feel like, he’s not stepping up, trust yourself and follow through. Your instinct will mostly lead you in the right direction.

    I would never go as far as saying well this person is not feeling me because they are giving me a church hug especially when its known that this person gives folks that she loves dearly church hugs. But that’s just me *kanye shrug*. Because on my end I’m thinking well this person is not finding the time to talk/converse with me so he’s not feeling me.

    As far as this goes, it all goes back to the different languages of love… We all express our affections differently and we all receive signs of love differently.

    Each person perceives it differently… Check it out here

    All in all, I’m sure you will be fine.

  5. ms80sbaby
    June 25, 2010 at 3:40 pm

    Thanks LP…..I think I just realized my plans for this weekend…. I’m bout to run to the bookstore and grab this book. 🙂 Cause this is the second time someone has mentioned it in the last few days. Now I actually look forward to reading it tonight. I can’t wait to share what I’ve learned.

    Have a great weekend 🙂

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