Home > Uncategorized > Remember, you didn’t put the ring on me…..

Remember, you didn’t put the ring on me…..

So y’all know pretty much know the background with me and my ex who is now married. Y’all also know during the Treehouse meet and greet I had dipped off with him. This was before he was married. Yes, I know that I’m wrong for seeing him when he was engaged. But I had my reasons. Heck, we never had closure. And I know that’s not an excuse. Still one minute we’re talking on the phone everyday and then I hear he’s engaged. I knew he had someone in his life but I didn’t think it was that serious because after he told me that he met someone he didn’t miss a beat. At this time I didn’t even have his phone number because I was just like whatever it was, it was gonna be on him. I had already withdrew from putting forth any effort. If he wanted to talk to me or whatever then it was on him. Like I said earlier, he didn’t miss a beat and kept right on calling.

So part of the reason why I agreed to even see him in Chicago was because I was baffled like how did he just turn his feelings off for me like that. It was so weird how our meetup even happened. So back in December I told him to stop calling me due to his engagement. He did good up until May. He called me out the blue in May and then called quite a bit after that. He backed off in June and then he texted me when I was in Chicago. He was texting to tell me happy belated bday. So we made small talk and I told him that I was up by his way. He was actually coming to visit his best friend in Chicago so he just kind of moved his trip up earlier a few hours to come see me.

There was no awkwardness or anything and we had just picked up where we left off. It was then I knew that his feelings were not cut off. They were still very much there. We didn’t do anything and we just enjoyed each other’s company. From then up until his wedding I got a few goodbye texts only for him to call or text a few weeks later. The last official one I got was a few days before his wedding.

I don’t know maybe I was just gullible but I thought that would be the end of it. He’s married now and we’ve officially gone our seperate ways. Ha! Jokes on me because I got a text on Saturday. But what’s crazy is that I had actually rhode past the hotel that we stayed in not too long before he texted me. He entered into my mind for a quick second while I was passing it and that was it. It’s so ironic that out of all the days he could have texted me it was then. We texted for a while making small talk. He asked if he could call. I told him no since I was in a car full of folks. He asked if I had seen any of his wedding pics on the internet. I told him nope. He said he could send me one if I wanted. I was like no offense but I’m cool. And that was that. I was thinking okay I probably won’t hear from him for a while.

I was wrong again. He texted me Sunday afternoon. He asked if he was wrong for texting me. He ended up calling me. Needless to say we talked off and on all day. He admitted that he misses me and I cross his mind often. He doesn’t know why. It’s weak. (A figure of speech that he uses often) I’m like hold up. So of course, he cleans it up like I’m saying it’s not right that I think about you and I’m married. During this time I’m not even saying anything. I’m just shaking my head at him. At one point when we were on the phone he proceeds to call me Mrs (Insert his last name here). I was quiet. He kept saying it. So finally I was just like I know you ain’t talking to me. We continued to make small talk on the phone and then he kept saying you know I’m trying to stay appropriate.

So, here we are…… It’s only been three months since his wedding and he’s started calling again. One of my besties is like that should be an ego booster. I’m like it probably should be but it’s not. I actually feel terrible about it. I just don’t like feeling like I’m doing something wrong. It did feel good talking to him. But I know I can’t continue it. He’s a married man.

So now if he calls or texts again I’m gonna have to tell him to stop.  I know that we are from two different worlds and honestly, it probably would have never worked between us. We’re just too different.  One of the hardest things I had to do was accept that he was getting married. I’m definitely not trying to backtrack.

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Categories: Uncategorized
  1. Sunny
    December 14, 2009 at 12:11 pm

    I can empathize with you on this BUT the fact is, he chose someone else. He is doing both you and the other woman a disservice because of his conflicted feelings. IMHO, he IS cheating on the woman he married because he IS sharing these feelings about you with you.

    Whenver I have found myself in a situation where it was hard to not answer, I changed my number. Maybe this will help you. That will he CANNOT call you anymore! Too bad cellphones don’t let you block folks!

  2. thecomebackgirl
    December 14, 2009 at 12:15 pm

    So y’all know pretty much know the background with me and my ex who is now married. Y’all also know during the Treehouse meet and greet I had dipped off with him

    i didn’t know this!!!!!!!!!!!!! let me continue

  3. thecomebackgirl
    December 14, 2009 at 12:18 pm

    I gotta go with Sunny..

    AND..i think you should thank your lucky stars that YOU didn’t marry him..because most likely he’d be doing the same thing with someone else. You are all that and a bag of dorritos.. you don’t need that.

  4. ms80sbaby
    December 14, 2009 at 12:58 pm

    @Sunny….I have had my number for the last seven years and I refuse to change it on the acount of him. I’ll tell him to quit calling and texting. Before when I told him to he did it. So if he makes it a habit of calling or texting me then I’ll just flat out tell him to stop. I can have the willpower to not answer if he still continues to call especially now since he’s married. I can do it!!!!!

    @Comeback…. Thanks girlie!!! And see I had told y’all that I didn’t even know whether I wanted to be with him. Mainly because we are soooooooo different. He was somebody who I liked having around privately. Not publically!!!!! He was definitely NOT my ideal mate or somebody I wanted to introduce to the world as my man. It was just interesting to both of us that we even stayed in contact for so long considering we were total opposites. And see I was talking to my sister last night and she was cracking up like and you wanted that….. Thing is when he had mentioned his wedding. I was like so did you have your grill in. And he was like man I was back there and I asked my momma if I should take them out. And my momma was like be you son so I left them in. I just cringed and was like thank you jesus it was not me!!!!!! Ha!!!!

  5. Sunny
    December 14, 2009 at 1:51 pm

    “I can have the willpower to not answer if he still continues to call especially now since he’s married. I can do it”

    BE STRONG!!!!!!! 😉

  6. Sunny
    December 14, 2009 at 1:52 pm

    “And he was like man I was back there and I asked my momma if I should take them out. And my momma was like be you son so I left them in.”

    Aw lawd- I wanna see that wedding pic (grill in?)

  7. ms80sbaby
    December 14, 2009 at 1:58 pm

    I wanna see that wedding pic (grill in?)

    @Sunny…. Exactly!!!!! Sound a lil ghetto to me…. I definitely wouldn’t been able to agree to that….LMAO

  8. Sunny
    December 14, 2009 at 2:20 pm

    “Sunny…. Exactly!!!!! Sound a lil ghetto to me…. I definitely wouldn’t been able to agree to that….LMAO”

    Girl right… my groom WILL NOT be braided up or with a grill. Might as well have on a Jesus Piece.

  9. ms80sbaby
    December 14, 2009 at 2:42 pm

    Not the Jesus piece…… Recently I’ve came up with how I would want my wedding to be.. .And ghetto is nowhere in my vision!!!!

  10. Sunny
    December 14, 2009 at 2:56 pm

    Not anywhere not anyhow.. And to assure that, I am considering putting a dress code on the invite. I’m just saying. lol

  11. ms80sbaby
    December 14, 2009 at 4:21 pm

    And I forgot to mention that he was singing PAPERS while we were on the phone. I don’t know if he realized what he was saying or if it was a subliminal message but yeah he was singing PAPERS.

  12. LP
    December 14, 2009 at 6:19 pm

    Instead of telling him to stop… just don’t pick up. It’s hard as hell. But you need to cut him off completely. I am serious. Again, I come from my very own bad girl’s guide to life perspective. You get back what you put out. Simple, not easy but very simple.

    Let this dude go. It’s been too long, he has never done enough to show you he cared and it’s just not it.

    Stop blocking your blessings with all that old/murky energy. It’s not conducive to letting new stuff happen to you. So let.it.go. My humble opinion. 🙂

  13. December 14, 2009 at 10:41 pm

    im with lp, don’t answer anymore phone calls. and this fool wore a grill in his own wedding?? i would have slapped them out!!

  14. ms80sbaby
    December 14, 2009 at 11:29 pm

    @LP… I was waiting for you to come and speak the truth… LOL

    Okay, ladies….. I’ve been challenged and I happily accept. There’s no need for me to tell him to stop… I’ll just pull a disappearing act of my own if he happens to keep appearing. Thanks!!!!!

  15. Sunny
    December 15, 2009 at 8:30 am

    Singing papers??? WTF- was this an experimental wedding?

  16. ms80sbaby
    December 15, 2009 at 8:33 am

    Singing papers??? WTF- was this an experimental wedding?

    @Sunny… Ha… I honestly don’t know… I don’t even think he realized what he was singing… But I was like is this fool really singing papers….That song should not be sung by no freakin newlywed….. I was just like wow!!!!!! I wanted to be like ummmmm do you realize what you’re singing.. But I just held my tongue!!!

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