Home > Uncategorized > Who gets kicked out of Hospice?

Who gets kicked out of Hospice?

Everytime I go home to visit I usually go straight to my granny’s. It always makes me feel good that my grandmother’s face light up as soon as I walk in the door. She always seem so happy to see me. However, last weekend I stopped to see an aunt first. During our conversation she casually mentioned that  Aunt H was sent to Hospice. My family has a bad habit of not keeping everyone on the same accord regarding family matters. So I knew that Aunt H was in the hospital but I didn’t know that things were that bad for her to get sent to Hospice. To me Hospice means “we’re waiting on you to die”  so me no likey Hospice.

So me and my mother went to go check on Aunt H in her new environment. It was decorated nicely and the staff was great.   It was just a little too depressing for me. Seeing the patients gravely ill and then their family members looking sad and depressed behind it. Whenever my eyes would meet someone from another family’s eyes they were looking at me with pity.  I couldn’t return that look. I tried to return a look of encouragment but I don’t know if it worked. 

Anywho, I hated seeing Aunt H just laying there. She had pneumonia in both lungs and some kind of infection. The doctor didn’t think she was going to recover and that’s the reason she was sent to Hospice. I tried to wake her so we could converse like normal but she was not having it. She cursed me out something terrible and told me she’s sick and was trying to sleep. Aunt H can get downright MEAN. The nurses were asking did we want to stop giving her her medicine. They wanted to know whether she was DNR or not. It was getting serious. One of my aunt’s let it be known to the nurses that we wanted her to get better, although the doctors sent her here we’re not “waiting” for her to die.  I really didn’t know what to expect. So we sat out there for a while and then left so she could get her rest.

So then I go over my granny’s. Usually my great-grandmother is posted up in her chair. This time they had her laying on the love seat. She just looked so sad. So I went over there and tried to talk to her. She would just look at me. She has cancer and I don’t know if cancer is painful or what but she seemed to be in so much pain. The only thing I could think to do was grab her hand wishing I was feeling the pain instead of her.  She gave me a few good squeezes and that made me feel better.  Throughout the weekend I would go back over there and it was real confusing. Because I could walk in the door and my great grandmother would give me a hearty welcome, crack a joke, or something. Then I would look over at her 5 minutes later and she was back groggy.

All last weekend, I felt comforted by grabbing her hand because she would grab mines back. There was this one instance where she was reaching up with her free hand. She would start reaching towards her face but she was too weak to completely do whatever it was that she was trying to do. Me wishing she could communicate with me the problem just started doing everything I could think of. I straightened her eyeglasses, scratched her eyebrows, and I wiped her nose trying to figure out what was bothering her. (Yep, we have her spoiled) So right now my great-grandmother has her good moments and bad moments. Sometimes she’s just as coherent as she want to be then the next minute she’s not.

Fast forward to this past weekend……My great-grandma’s situation is still the same. She still has her good moments and bad moments. However, I was able to experience more good moments then bad moments. I can honestly say that my great-grandmother is 95 years young and I am well aware that she is not going to live forever. So right now I’m still holding her hand and cherishing her good moments.

This weekend I also fit some time in to go visit my other great-grandmother. She’s 99 years young. Her status has pretty much been the same for several years. She’s not really responsive verbally. However, she lets us know when we’re too loud or something because she’ll pull the covers over her head. She stays on my mind a lot because I know I need to spend more time with her. So this weekend I knew I had to go to see her.

So last night, I went to visit the one and only Aunt H. And she is 100% back to her normal self. When I walked in she said “ooooohhhh there’s my girl” and that made me smile. I went and sat next to her so we could have one of our normal chats. I asked her how she been and she said that she felt a lot better. I told her that last time I came to see her she was mean to me and that I forgave her ;). Of course she changed the topic. She sitting up there talking about I don’t know why but I got a taste for some macaroni & cheese. Then she mentioned wanting some pop. Some eggs. Y’all know Aunt H like to eat. So she’s back to her normal self again.

So in regards to the question who gets kicked out of Hospice? It’s Aunt H. She’s being released today. She arrived there on the evening of 11/6/09  and there were 8 other patients. All of the other patients have passed. The last one passed Friday around 2. But Aunt H is still here. Still holding on. Still somewhere talking about she hungry. LOL

What a difference a weeks makes! I’m just so glad that I’ve been able to spend 27 years with these wonderful ladies. I have memories that are gonna last me a lifetime. I am definitely blessed that I still have BOTH of my great-grandmothers, grandmother, and my Aunt H. I’m grateful that I still realize the importance of spending time with them. Communicating by holding hands may not mean much to the next person but to me it means the world.

Categories: Uncategorized
  1. Sunny
    November 16, 2009 at 1:06 pm

    I just had to say something because I love my granny so much and can’t imagine the position you are in right now. It’s got to be hard.

    God is good and I’m praying for you, granny and Aunt Hattie. Take care.

  2. ms80sbaby
    November 16, 2009 at 1:26 pm

    Thanks Sunny….. It is very hard because I want my great-grandma to get her spunk back. I hate seeing her suffer. All I can do is pray and ask God to have his way.

    It’s just a tough situation to be in. My grandmother is doing her best by taking care of her with all of our help but at the same time realizing that it’s borderline too much for the family to handle. Considering all the lifting that we have to do when moving her. But we’re maintaining.

    More than anything, I’m satisfied knowing that I’ve done my part and I’m continuing to do my part. You know I’m just not around on holidays or when she’s extremely sick. So I’m content with the relationship that we have and whenever she squeezes my hand it just reiterates that she knows I’m there. Always have been and always will be.

  3. Sunny
    November 16, 2009 at 1:39 pm

    It’s a blessing to have a great grandmother too… I never knew mine; and my step great grandmother I knew had Alzheimer’s which was no fun. 😦
    Enjoy your time.. it’s a blessing to have memories with her. She loves you and the fact that you do come around and spend time with her means a LOT! So many people just let their elders fall by the wayside and it’s so sad.

  4. ms80sbaby
    November 16, 2009 at 3:02 pm

    So many people just let their elders fall by the wayside and it’s so sad.

    @Sunny…And this is what the nurses out at Hospice talked about….. How people put their family in Hospice and then don’t come and visit them…. One lady was just like she makes sure that nobody dies alone…

    (I couldn’t imagine being a Hospice nurse but they all seem to enjoy it)

    But my great-grandmother was the one who babysat us considering my grandma was working. My grandma didn’t retire until I was in college. So yeah I have great memories. From fixing pecan pies together, getting yelled at for running in and out, her not wanting us to eat up her frosted flakes, having to go pick a switch, can’t talk when the stories is on, and etc…. It’s sooooo many 😉

  5. Sunny
    November 16, 2009 at 3:14 pm

    I’m glad they enjoy it… they help to ease the process. that is a field that one works in that MUST take a level of patience that I’d don’t have.

    LOL. My granny loves Frosted Flakes too!!!! She got me hooked on them.

  6. V Renee
    November 16, 2009 at 3:15 pm

    Awwwwwwwww. I love that you get to see your granny and aunties. That is such a blessing. I do not have a single grandparent around and I hate that at times. 

    I don’t have many regrets in life, but THE ONE that still bothers me to this day, is not going to see my grandma in Arkansas more before she passed. We buried her on Valentines day this year and my daddy kept telling me I needed to go see her. She had been sick for almost a year, but I could not go see her. At the time, I felt like I didn’t want to see her sick like that. And I regret that I didn’t. ☹ So enjoy all that you can with them!!

  7. Sunny
    November 16, 2009 at 3:16 pm

    Admittedly, I don’t deal with my granddad as I should. He’s had a couple of strokes and was in assisted livinga nd got kicked out. lol. Now he lives with my aunt. There is certanily more that I could be doing. It’s just hard when you never were the close. I remember him bringing me and my brothers fruit and pizza on Fridays but never having any deep converstations. 😉

  8. November 16, 2009 at 3:17 pm

    That was really beautiful 80s…it just lets me know that time is precious.

    I think you are blessed as Sunny wrote to have so many of your grands and great grands and aunt h still around. It is truly a blessing. I think you have something special.

  9. ms80sbaby
    November 16, 2009 at 3:34 pm

    I’m glad they enjoy it… they help to ease the process. that is a field that one works in that MUST take a level of patience that I’d don’t have.

    @Sunny…This is true too….. And even somewhat of a stronger exterior where you can leave things at work and not take the “tone” of the environment home with you…. All the visitors just be walking around sulking. I wanted to shake a couple of them like snap out of it…

    In regards to your granddad. I understand because my relationship is not as strong with my great-grandmother on my dads side….. They lived in Mississippi. We would go down there when we were younger but we were never really close…She moved this way once they got older. And it became better but it’s still not the same….. She’s a survivor though. Buried a husband, both her children, 1 grandchild, and a great grandchild….

    And on her side it’s a possibility it can be six generations because the oldest 5th generation child is 18.


  10. ms80sbaby
    November 16, 2009 at 3:43 pm

    That is such a blessing. I do not have a single grandparent around and I hate that at times.

    @V…I have cousins who’s parents are deceased and I feel for them and their kids. Because I’m like they won’t have a set of grandparents on that side…I honestly couldn’t imagine.

    She had been sick for almost a year, but I could not go see her. At the time, I felt like I didn’t want to see her sick like that. And I regret that I didn’t. ☹ So enjoy all that you can with them!!

    Thanks… It is an adjustment. It’s definitely a hard pill to swallow. When I was in the eighth grade. My greatgrandfather was in the hospital. I was always at soccer practice or doing something whenever people went to visit him. I thought I was always gonna have tomorrow. He passed before I got a chance to go see him…. I don’t want that to happen again and it made me realize that tomorrow is definitely not promised.

  11. ms80sbaby
    November 16, 2009 at 3:52 pm

    I think you have something special.

    @Comeback…… Thanks so much….. I’m really grateful for being able to experience life with them. Not only them… But the relationship I had with my great grandfather and both of my grandfathers… I know I’m truly blessed when it comes to the “grands” and “greats” being a part of my life.

  1. December 21, 2009 at 4:22 pm

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