Home > Uncategorized > Wrap-Up of the ex factor saga

Wrap-Up of the ex factor saga

So enough of talking about the past I’m just gonna touch on the current situation. So two weeks ago me and him were texting and he proceeds to say that I know how he feels about me and he’s interested in a relationship. I’m just playing it off like you’re a mess and you haven’t approached me on anything serious in  awhile. So he text back: Do you want  something serious with me? I texted back: I honestly don’t know if it can be something between us. 

I like our friendship majority of the time. We talk about a lot. He asks for my opinion  regarding his career moves because he knows I’m going to give it to him straight. His mom has had some health scares so he keeps me updated on her progress. We have mutual family members so he’ll keep me updated on them. It’s a variety of things that we discuss.

But our  situation is complicated.  Part of me wants to be like we just need to completely go our seperate ways. Particularly because of the last situation when I seen them together. He says that he is not in a relationship with her. And I believe that to be true. However, he can have a manipulative side. I experienced that in high school. I’m assuming he has her believing that when he’s ready to settle down it’s going to be with her. That very well may be the case.

I’m just not really happy about that situation that me and him are in. My thing is which I’ve expressed to him is that I don’t like feeling like I know my place. Because I don’t have no damn place considering it’s nothing between us. It’s not like we’re spending time together or any of that. We are strictly friends. I understand that he’s trying to be respectful of her feelings whenever I’m around. I just don’t like feeling like I’m the “other woman”  because I’m not.

He had invited me to visit the city where he’s at now. I was actually considering to take him up on his offer. Until our last interaction when I got the handshake. Once again I was left feeling like a “mistress”. So I texted him and told him that tonight just proved that I don’t have no business coming to anywhere to see him. After texting back and forth he finally agreed with me when I said that before I come anywhere to see him the local interaction needs to change.

Okay after writing all of this out its obvious that we need to go our seperate ways. I already know that part of the reason I am putting up with the crap is because I’m being selfish. He is probably the only person who I would be interested in doing anything with in my hometown as far as going out (dating, movies, and etc). But then that wouldn’t be fair to him because I would be leading him on. Because I seriously doubt there will be anything between us again. He loves to say that he wants me. I playfully remind him that he may want me but he doesn’t want all of me. He’s really only interested in the physical part of me. Considering we’ve never done the do and I know his butt is probably curious.

So yeah it’s probably time we just go ahead and go our seperate ways…….. Officially… For good….. But can I do it?????

Categories: Uncategorized
  1. LP
    November 13, 2009 at 11:44 am

    Ok, Ms. 80’s, I will ask you this: do you want my honest opinion or the politically correct one?

    Once you choose, I’ll answer. 🙂

  2. ms80sbaby
    November 13, 2009 at 12:14 pm

    @LP…… I’ll take it straight w/ no chaser!!!!!!!!!! LOL

  3. LP
    November 13, 2009 at 12:41 pm

    Ok, ma’am, sweetie pie. This is coming from the sistren love that I have for you: leave this guy alone.

    First of all, he comes with too much baggage. You are young and successful and beautiful. You do not need to narrow your options right now. Don’t you want to share the experience of having a first kid with someone?

    2. You know you are the other woman. And so is she. I wouldn’t even be surprised if there was a 3rd woman out there. He has made NO committment to any of you… and personally, I will run from anyboby who still has a hard time aknowledging his kids. I mean how come you managed to have a baby with somebody you are NOT in a relationship with?

    C. Both of you girls need to realize that he will have his cake and it it too and ask for seconds if you let him. Human beings have a tendency to follow the least resistance path… it’s actually a physics principle. So you make it easy for him, he will take advantage. And he has been taking advantage of it.

    Last but not least, there is a whole lot to this story we are not privy of so the advice I give is really just that. My intuition is telling me (and trust me my intuition is so NOT fullproof) that sometimes you might ignite things when they quiet down… it might feel like a power boost at the time, but in hindsight is it really worth it? I mean you’ve already won the war… let him be. Give him a chance to mature and grow up. Right now, you might not be doing all you can to let that happen.

    In other words: walk away.

    (And trust me, I have been in a situation somewhat similar..except dude and I were engaged at the time… I was 21…. sad story and situation all along… :)) Believe me, they are not worth it.

  4. LP
    November 13, 2009 at 12:42 pm

    And sorry for the blog post in the comment section!

  5. ms80sbaby
    November 13, 2009 at 1:10 pm

    To be honest I totally agree with what you’re saying.

    This goes back to admitting me being selfish. I know that I need to give him up as an option because for one I can admit that I have problems accepting that baby. But the single me is saying I need to have at least one option to fall back on though.

    So I know what I need to do. Especially considering when he asked me what I thought of him I couldn’t say words like he was honest or any of the things that personally describe him. I had to talk about his professional side. And that comes into play like I know financially we would be good for each other…Pretty much being with him would be for all the wrong reasons and I actually know this.

    In regards to #2.. Knowing him there’s probably no telling how many “women” there actually are. I would NEVER be able to trust him and he knows this.

    And as far as #C. Currently, I don’t think I ignite things. I have in the past though…I never question their status he “tells” me ALL the time you know we’re not together.

    There’s been several situations when I’ve wanted to completely walk away. But for some reason or another I haven’t been able to. I can honestly admit that I might put up with it for the “male attention”. But then on the other hand we can have great conversation. Just last night we were on the phone for about a hour talking about football. And I actually enjoyed the conversation….

    But the situation is starting to get draining because even my family is involved in the awkwardness of it…..It’s just one big mess…Writing it all out really helped me see the mess for what it is.

  6. ms80sbaby
    November 13, 2009 at 1:25 pm

    My intuition is telling me (and trust me my intuition is so NOT fullproof) that sometimes you might ignite things when they quiet down… it might feel like a power boost at the time, but in hindsight is it really worth it?

    @LP…. Soooooooo after really thinking about this line and my actions I can say that your intuition is right. But you are definitely right it’s really not even worth it considering the situation is always gonna be what it is…Him not being able to be honest with me and me knowing this and choosing to ignite as a result.

  7. LP
    November 13, 2009 at 4:04 pm

    But the single me is saying I need to have at least one option to fall back on though.

    Ms. 80’s, trust me when I tell you I have been there. And I am still there at times. It’s normal. It’s human, don’t beat yourself up too much about. This might sound like unconventional advice, but I sincerely believe there is nothing wrong with “an” option… He can be that option, although not ideal, it’s always a great ego boost to remember we can still BRING it… Just be subtle with it, and let him make those moves… What will be dangerous is making him THE option.

    I truly believe everybody we meet has a “purpose” in our life… Maybe his role is to boost your confidence so you can go out there and find YOUR one? But just be careful not to let him send too many vibes your way that could block your potential “real” one. Because he’s out there, waiting for you to come by. 😉

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