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Time or Money

At the hair salon I was having a conversation w/ my aunt regarding child support. She’s one of those mothers who is definitely gonna hassle everybody she can in order to get her child support. I know it’s not fair to her to support all of the finances for her son. But is all the hassling worth it? I personally don’t think so. And I told her. Just let it go. The lil peanuts that she was gonna get is not even worth the hassling she was gonna do to get them.

Throughout our conversation, she proceeded to tell me that her 10 year old son’s father called recently and asked her which one did she prefer… Time or Money? Because she couldn’t have both. Me understanding what he meant but hoping that I’m wrong asked her to clarify. She told me he said which one do I prefer because I can’t have both when it comes to their son. When she told me this I instantly thought that BASTARD. How in the world could he even fix his lips to ask this question. What’s wrong with giving your own flesh and blood both TIME & MONEY?

To give a lil background on their situation they were together for years and somehow always ended up clashing. They were together one minute and apart the next. Never anything consistent. Then in 1998, she popped up pregnant and it was the surprise of the century. No one ever expected her to have any kids. For the most part, the daddy has made it to a few bday parties but it’s always been drama whenever he’s around. But my lil cousin never really noticed. He was the happiest fellow whenever his daddy was around. Too bad it’s never consistent.

I know this situation seriously bothers my aunt. I applaud her thus far for not tarnishing my lil cousins image of his joke of a father. She’s asking me what should she do. I told her nothing. I told her don’t say anything bad about his daddy to him. I’m like he’s smart enough to figure all of this out eventually on his own.

Friday was bring your daddy to lunch day. My lil cousin called his sperm donor 6 weeks ago and invited him considering he lives 4 hours away. The jerk promised he was gonna make it. Lo and behold when my cousin called him back to remind him closer to the day and now he wasn’t gonna be able to make it. On Friday evening my cousin decided to let everyone know how hurt he was. He kept saying I just knew that he was going to surprise me at 12:00 and walk in the cafeteria. I just knew he was gonna come. He was seriously hurt. Proceeded to say that he can’t take off work for me and I’m his son. He couldn’t do this one thing for me. He already missed all of my football games and etc. He even told his mom that he’s using him to get back at her (smart ain’t he)…. It’s just a whole lot wrong with this scenario.

Luckily, at his school he knew some of the other kids dad so he was able to eat with them.  So it didn’t turn into a situation where he had nobody. My aunt didn’t even know about it otherwise she would have made sure that somebody was there. My lil cousin kept the notice and didn’t mention it to her. However, the family ended up turning the situation around by reminding him of all the other men in his life who would have been happy to go and eat with him if he would have invited them. We mentioned so many names of men he knew who were a part of his life and we could see his face starting to light up.  I really think that next time he’ll be comfortable enough to explore other options since he’s starting to realize that his jerk of a father is unreliable.

What happened next? Well, since my lil cousins dad love to call my grandma and “tell on” my aunt then it was time for Big Momma to step in. My grandma called him and let him have it. And said that she’s NOT going to let ANYBODY hurt her grandson. So we’ll see what happens next. All I know is after that time or money comment I’ve lost ALL RESPECT for that bastard. I know my aunt is crazy and  I was willing to accept that she may be the blame for a lot of their problems. But now I see him for what he really is and it’s unfortunate but his son is starting to see it too.

 So what I want to know is what kind of parent will you be? If for some reason, something happened and caused you to be a single parent (divorce, unplanned pregancy, and ect). Would you go after child support? Even if you had to hassle people for it? What if you were in a situation similar? How would you react to your child’s parent saying time or money because you can’t have both? Talk to me…………..

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Categories: Uncategorized
  1. V Renee
    November 9, 2009 at 1:43 pm

    D@mn 80s I can’t keep up with your posts. Hmmmmmm, see it’s situations like this that make me think people need to be more protective of their eggs and sperm. LOL. IF I happened to be a single mother, and I would like to think that if I had to hassle to get him to pay child support, I wouldn’t go through it. In my opinion, it wouldn’t be worth the back and forth, taking off work and all that. It seems draining. Or I’d just wait until they got to be like 17, hit them with them ♪♪Papers Papers♪♪ for back payment, to help finance college. LOL.

  2. ms80sbaby
    November 9, 2009 at 1:58 pm

    @V….. Girl it seemed like so much happened this weekend… I actually have about 4 more that I could write just based off of this weekend alone…. lol

    Exactly though on the more selective. But never in my wildest dreams did I think this man was capable of making a statement like that. When she first got child support I busted out laughin when she told me the amount she was getting every two weeks. I can’t remember because it’s been so long ago but I know it wasn’t more than 50.00 every 2 wks. I don’t even know what he do now but I’m pretty sure the child support debit card do not be loaded all like that for her to be running around hassling people for them pennies…….

    I’m definitely not trying to do the single momma thing and that post was a definite reason why. However, if for whatever reason I ended up being one I would NEVER be hassling somebody about some money. I just don’t think it would be worth it. We would be making it without any help from them.

  3. ms80sbaby
    November 10, 2009 at 2:53 pm

    Oh and let me add that my cousins father is almost 60…. So I’m definitely gonna need for him to DO BETTER!!!!!!!

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