So I know in my last post…..I gave an update on my rotation….Yep. The same guys who have been around forever. But I also wanted to let y’all know that I’m not limiting myself to these folks….This summer while the mister was disappeared I actually “dated” another guy.
I went home one weekend and my parent’s neighbor decided to introduce me to his son. Now, I was kind of mean to this young man and I was not trying to give up my number. I told him I didn’t live there. And yadda, yadda, yadda..But he persisted. I asked him how old he was and when he said he was younger than me I was kind of like HERE WE GO AGAIN. When I asked what he did he was still in school and he does odd end jobs for folks…
What kind of answer was that???? Anywho, I ended up giving him my number. And surprisingly we had good conversations….. But long post short. I had to let that go for several reasons.
Reason #1: He was a convicted felon
Reason #2: He miiiight have a baby on the way
Reason #3: He doesn’t have a license
But the thing is… he seemed to drop a bomb every week…So I was just like ummmm what else is there???
So initially, I did have a problem with the convicted felon part. But as he talked about his struggles with finding a job I felt like I was just as bad as the jobs who weren’t hiring him….So I kind of overlooked it..Not really overlooked but kept it in the back of my mind… But alll that other stuff…The possible baby..Not having no driver’s license…It was just toooo much for me…And he was overly aggressive…. Ummm yeah, I had to let that all the way go.
But the funny thing is when I was telling him it wasn’t going to work he proceeded to go off on me….I was LAUGHING. I was baffled and kept asking him soooo we were talking once every couple of weeks and you thought we were progressing? Really??? He was telling me how other girls have tried to talk to him but he didn’t talk to them because he was interested in me..I was like welll, you ARE technically single so you could have did whatever you wanted….And he was on some you should have told me you weren’t interested before I got my heart involved. Ummmm boy BYE!
He was a NUT for real!!!!! Certified NUT at that….
So my mister actually reappeared in October…..He called me. I didn’t recognize the number nor his voice so I had to hit him with the WHO IS THIS???? I promise I wasn’t being funny….So he apologized for disappearing on me and he stated that he wished he would have did things differently because we were better than that….So silly ol’ me just thought he was calling to apologize…Well the next day I had a long inboxed message on fb asking for another chance….Then I had a handwritten letter under my door and a poem…… Then he brought me a reallly nice card and some flowers….We hung out a couple of times..Did dinners…Movies….But fast forward to December…It just wasn’t the same. I was definitely open to the idea of us getting back together..But I just couldn’t do it….There were a couple of issues that I couldn’t get down with…I understand that he’s younger than me…But he’s gotten so off track and I’m attracted to ambition. And I just don’t feel like it’s there…It’s more of a “what can I do right now kind of thing”. I understand he’s still trying to find himself but I honestly have NO idea of how long it’s gonna take for him to get stable. Especially knowing that if something else tragic happens it’s a possibility that he will lose focus again. I just feel like he needs to work on him….as opposed to an us….So we decided to be friends….It was a mutual decision. Neither one of us wanted to force something that wasn’t there….I suggested that maybe we were only supposed to be together for that season and he agreed…. But I still have nothing bad to say about our relationship. He was a great boyfriend…. I definitely enjoyed that season.
Well y’all know that one from high school..Well I’ve been hanging out with him…His job has him in my area often. So we’ll meet up and grab a bite to eat whenever he’s here…..Surprisingly, I’ve enjoyed spending time with him…..It’s soooo different being able to each other company’s without our normal interruptions…Whenever we see each other in our hometown we can’t have a conversation without someone interrupting asking if we back together or if we’re getting back together….Example…We were at a football game and we were talking and another friend of ours walks up and he’s like so it’s nothing between y’all….And he proceeds to say the chemistry is there because even he can feel it…..We usually just laugh those situations off…..
I used to think it wasn’t anything there between us but now I’m not so sure….We’ve always kept in contact via text and we’ll usually bump into each other whenever we’re home but that’s the extent of what it is…Nothing….But when we aren’t texting as much I actually miss him… But these last couple of outings actually have me curious. We’ve made small talk about the possibility of us getting back together…He asked that I think about it….He stopped over my parent’s house during the holidays and when he texted me saying he was coming over I warned him like ummmm my WHOLE family is over here…. But he came and my momma had him playing our lil Christmas games too…HA!! So when I was walking him out he said that he’s never seen the other side of me…The more mature 80s..The grown woman 80s…At first I was confused. But after thinking about it I understood exactly what he meant. I do give him more of the playful side of me….I honestly think it’s because I’m guarded with him…..He’s in town today so we’re gonna hang out and I’m gonna make an effort to not resort to the ol’ quiet 80s. My communication skills were horrible when we were together and I do go back to the shy girl role with him..I’ve changed…I’mma definitely try and let him see the new 80s……
I’m not for sure if I had wrote about this or not…But back in February we were both home for the weekend and he dropped by… Now all of you know I battle with the fact that my dad is an alchoholic. I’m embarrassed by it. It’s definitely a struggle for me to deal with it….Well when he was over my dad came home intoxicated and would not stop talking. I instantly got an attitude and started getting into it with my daddy….So he was just like come on take a ride with me…In that car ride he just talked to me and put me back into my place. And he was just like regardless of his situation thats still your dad and you still have to respect him. I was able to open up to him about the situation. That was probably one of our best conversations EVER. It just felt good to talk to him knowing that he wasn’t gonna judge my feelings or my daddy especially knowing he could relate to the situation. Knowing that I could feel comfortable opening up to him was definitely an eye opener…It was a uhhhhhhh I didn’t know I could do this w/ him. But we shall see if anything will ever pop up between us….. And it doesn’t help that a lot of my family and friends are rooting for us to REUNITE. As soon as I told folks that me and my mister were gonna be friends they couldn’t help but to throw up that now the ex from high school now has a chance…..
Onnnnnnnn to that married one… I know y’all tired of hearing about him..Heck, I’m tired of writing about him…He came for Homecoming….First time I seen him since he was married….WOMP WOMP WOMP….He started texting….I got an apology for how things went down between us…..On one hand I’m glad I got an apology…On the other hand it was like dude don’t think you doing something now because you opening up about the situation…When you should have been saying something your butt wasn’t saying ish….. Anywho…He was just like I don’t know why I just can’t shake you…Blah, Blah, Blah…I honestly used to think that he was was happy…But now I kind of my doubts…I just feel like if you’re happy than you don’t have to constantly say it…And he always somewhere talking about he’s happily married… Definitely gets the side eye from me. Guess what….THAT’S NOT MY PROBLEM…..The messed up thing is that HE can’t take that fact that I aint STUDDIN’ his married behind… Boy BYE!!! LET ME BE! He’ll text me and I’ll be like NOPE I ain’t doing this with you today…
Hey folks!!!! I have absolutely missed my internet family…But I’m still on my operation new kick…I’m just ready for ALL THINGS NEW…It’s a new year..I’m feeling very blessed!!!! My goal for 2012 is to not let the small things get to me. Overall, I’m very grateful for all of my blessings and I know that what God has for me is for me…… So I’ve been living folks! Ready to embrace this new year….Ready to begin this journey….
Let’s see where it takes me………
So yesterday I’m driving home from work and I’m just chatting away on my cell phone…I look over and notice a truck that looks like my Mister’s…..At first I see the GA license plate…Then I keep looking and notice the dented passenger side…So I’m talking to one of the besties like I see him..Should I go over there??? She like yes….So I bust a U and make my way to Wendy’s parking lot…He had actually parked…So when he was getting out then he noticed me….He was walking up to my car….I rolled down the windows…Have you talked to your mom??? (Said that without any attitude or like I had a care in the world) He was like yep I talked to her…He then proceeds to say I was just on my way over to talk to you…
NINJA PLEASE!!!! I said OK and drove off….
I seen him at the Wendy’s that was literally around the corner from my place. I could walk to that Wendy’s if I wanted too….. So that kind of burned me up…. Everybody is asking well why didn’t you tell him off, cuss him out, do this or that…My response..I ain’t PRESSED! I been let that go.
So of course he never showed…But it wasn’t like I was sitting around waiting for him either..One of my best friends was in town and we headed to Louisville to see another friend of ours….And she was asking what if he came over apologizing and this and that…I was like he can apologize all he want to because whenever he do want to talk I ain’t got nothing to say.I’mma just listen. I also told her that 6 months is not that long so I’m cool with walking away….She was like so you done…I’m like I’m done….She was like you sure you got it in you… I’m like hell yeah I’m sure…I explained that I’ve already allowed one person to walk in and out of my life and I refuse to subject myself to that again….So once you start pulling the disappearing acts I’m out!!!!!!
I’m still shaking my head that I seen the guy around the corner from my apt….. Like really????? But oh well….
So yep on the 1st it will eventually be a month since I heard from my mister…. I do MISS him….I’m not going to deny that…But surprisingly I’m still not really sad or hurt behind it…..Mainly because I know that there’s not anything wrong with me. If someone has disappearing tendencies then it’s nothing that I can say or do to prevent it….The only thing I’m capable of doing is walking away.
I hope he’s well…..I’ve prayed for him and his family. I’ve prayed that he returns home safely….. But that’s all that I can do…..My fabulous life continues!!!!!!!!
Giving a bday shout out to V. Renee….Have a great one doll!! And I’m right behind you…Ready to party at 12:01 am…LOL
Okay so I have to tell about my entire Saturday so you’ll really get an understanding of how busy/crazy it was….
So first off I have to wake up super early to go get a new license cause mine expire this year and renew my tags for my car. And I refused to be in the DMV (why do people call it the DMV when it’s really the Bureau of Motor Vehicles) all morning so I was there first thing and I was in and out in 10 minutes…
So I go back home and crawl back in the bed to just relax since the weather was kind of yucky..Here comes my momma. Asking me to be in the parade. A multicultural festival was going on Saturday and the parade was it’s kickoff….All of our
black churches participate in the parade and are vendors during the festival. My church was riding bikes in the parade and my mom has like 3 bikes. So she pretty much said grab a bike and come on….And I obliged. Did I mention it was sprinkling…. Luckily the parade was maybe about a mile…It was from one park to another park… So yeah my Saturday morning ended with me riding a bike in a parade in the rain for my church….And guess who I seen while I was in the parade…. The ex from high school..He got caught by the parade…So we waved.. He later texted and asked if I was still coming to his bday party… I was like I plan on it unless you revoking my invitation….
I didn’t mind the rain because I was getting my hair done that afternoon. Now my aunt is my hair stylist….So y’all already know what that means…. I got started….I was washed and blow dried and then she had to run some errands..LOL So yeah I just went back to the festival…On my way to the festival I seen the ex from high school again..So he pulls up on me and ask who all coming tonight and I was being smart with him… Like why???? But I was only playing and he talking about change that attitude and I rolled my eyes and drove off smirking… And when I get to the festival I see his momma…We speak and she’s asking if I talked to her son..She’s like yeah you know today is his birthday and I was like yeah I texted him…So back to my hair…Long story short I ended up getting my hair finished (a sew in) at a family friend’s graduation party.. Yeah.. GHETTO!!! But it had to be done…..
So my hair is finally finished and I make it home after 10 and I start getting ready….I was so freaking flustered..I’m the type that like to play around with my hair and be comfortable with it..But I had no time for that…And this hair is wayyyyyyy darker than I’m used to.. So I start getting ready..Everytime I think my dress is ironed..I notice more wrinkles… I just couldn’t get it together….
So I finally get to my friend’s house who is riding with me and I go in so she can give me the glance over and help me out with my hair because by this time I’m just FRAZZLED… So finally we’re off….Its in a nice lil place that we’ve never been before…. It’s a 2 level place with the downstairs being more of a social area and the upstairs being I guess the dance area… So we get drinks downstairs and head on up… The birthday guy is standing by the steps with his best friend..So me and my friends hug/speak and he tells us that he has a room in the back with drinks and what not and to help our self…
So we start heading back there…..And here comes the awkwardness….So the bm is in the room along with a few girls she hang with…One of her best friends is his cousin and then another one of her friends is his best friend’s sister and a couple other folks….And his brother was there and we hugged because its been a while since we’ve seen each other….So me and my friends did a hey and a wave…We spoke and kept it moving..Back to the dance floor we went…..
So throughout the night he would come up to me…And we would chat….Make small talk..He thanked me for coming…and yadda, yadda, yadda….So one time he’s approaching me and here comes this girl who he used to date. Now mind you me and the girl go back because her daddy pastors the church my daddy’s family go to. So I’mma just call her PK..She’s not from my town but would be down a lot because of church. She’s actually from V’s city…Well, when they started to date/mess/ whatever then all of a sudden she had a problem with me and stopped speaking…..To this day I just laugh about it. Because she goes out of her way to be spiteful. Everytime we’re out she’ll come from waaayyyy across the room to speak to one of my best friends. She’s funny to me…Oh, but let me add PK will speak when I’m at her church… She’ll speak to me when I’m with my mom. GTFOOHWTBS!!!!
So when she comes and sideswipes him my friend is playing around and whispers so you just gonna let her take him…I was like ummmm you see who is approaching who… Shut my friend up real quick. She said and you are definitely right about that….. But it was kind of sad because she was really being thirsty and kept trying to be in his face…. Me and my girls were having a great time….The music was cool…We were feeling our drinks… My cousin who is married to his cousin came so I hung out with them a little.
So we’re still partying and I would look up and notice him smiling at me from across the room….So one time he approaches us and he’s talking to my friends and he’s like y’all already know who this is to me..And my friends are just waving their hands and rolling their eyes playfully like well she’s single…..So he starts smiling….and then my friends start going on like but you’re all talk anyway so we’re not trying to hear it…..So I just start teasing him like yep he’s all talk because he got a girl in the city he resides in…..He’s like all I have in Dallas (
fake city) is a condo that you haven’t came and seen….. So I just laugh and we walk off on him…
So the night is almost over….the DJ is starting to slow it down….. He’s walking past so I was like come on let’s dance..We probably haven’t danced together since our college days… A long time ago……And he was joking like so we taking it back to how we used to be in high school…. And then the lights came on….My friends were joking around because we were matching and I was like we might as well take a pic…. I think our last pic was from my sister’s college graduation party circa 2005…We chatted some more..He invited us to breakfast at some diner. We declined… Said our goodbyes and that was that…
Overall, me and my girls had a great time….New environment, new faces, old faces, good drinks, good music, awkward moments, interesting moments….We kicked it….I’m glad that I went….
Sooooo tomorrow is the ex from high school’s 30th bday and he’s having a PARTY!!! And of course I got an invitation…And I’m gonna GOOOOOO!!!!!! *Wink Wink* Now mind you when I solicited my friends to go with me all of them were like I’m in…So the next question from all of my friends were like so what u gonna wear???? And of course they asked you think the babymomma gonna be there?? Who else you think you gonna be there???
So of course all my friends are focusing on what I’m gonna wear…..So my sister suggests a dress for me to wear from my closet and I was considering it….Then I had asked my friend her opinion on another dress…. So the dress my sister suggested is a great dress…It’s a BCBG with fringes and my friend says the fringes hides my curves….. So the dress I suggested..My friend was like HECK NO!!!! You’ll be doing toooo much because that dress is suck em tight…. She told me I needed to find a happy medium…
So I went through my closet and found a couple of options…So we shall see… But I’m excited about the lil shindig… Mainly because our paths never cross whenever we’re out since we’ve been adults…Whenever he’s visiting if we’re both going out then we go out to different places….
I’ve already went into detail about the messiness of our situation on this blog…And unfortunately we’re still apart of each other’s lives…. We continue to text a couple time’s a week about random stuff….We have a mutual cousin and he keeps me updated with his sports because he travels to some of his AAU games…. His sister by his dad was a classmate of mine and her mom died unexpectedly so we talked a lot during that time….*At his sister’s moms funeral my aunt hopped in his car and rhode with him to the cemetary* I told y’all he’s still considered part of the fam.
A couple months ago I was home visiting and he had stopped by…And he was talking to my mom and asking if she had the met the boyfriend and my mom was like no…So he pumps his fist like yes I’m still in there..I still got a chance..I just rolled my eyes…So then my mom proceeds to say I don’t care who 80’s is dating you was always my choice.. I roll my eyes because she ain’t EVER met anybody else… (I’m real particular about bringing folks around my family) So my mom goes upstairs and we’re still downstairs talking and my mom yells down the steps you have two people routing for you.. My aunt was on the phone and she let it be known that she’s still rooting for him too…The next morning at church my mom whispered it’s three..Your grandma is rooting for him too..I just laughed it off.. Like these folks are NUTS.
But yeah this Saturday night is going to BE REAAAAALLLLLLL interesting…
And I say that because his females/exes want to know my secret..What is it about me??? Why am I still a friend after all these years…. I’m still around because I pumps his lil arrogant brakes…and because *whispers in a sing song voice* cause I ain’t never give him none…. LMAO